so i haven't really been posting much lately because i realised when i'm happy there isn't really a need to post. or at least i forget to post. but stuck at home this weekend trying to get my report done and i figured i need an excuse to get my eyes of adobe reader and microsoft word and instead get to blogger, so here i am!!
these few weeks have made me realise some important things that never really occurred to me and that i used to take for granted-- the importance of true friendships.
coming to jc i've always felt super blessed that i found myself good friends really quickly and we could hang out and have lots of fun all the time, and i used to promise myself that i could and definitely would make every effort possible to try to keep in contact and stay close to them. i could be seeing them along the corridors, weekly or maybe even daily, but i'd always felt that time out of school just talking about life and REALLY catching up with each other is the most precious.
but recently, with a particular friendship of mine, things came to a point when i was trying to initiate something but ultimately never worked out. and it was then and there that the very idealistic me realises that: hey even though i love you so much (as a friend), it isn't mutual. and it kind of sucks to realise that it isn't mutual because you assured me it was and i placed full faith in you. and it hurts when you not only reject us but also prioritise others things+ friends over us.
so i realise everything i've been trying to achieve is all but a false dream. ultimately in reality, friendships that are supposed to last forever, only can last forever in that moment. and although you might know EVERYTHING about that person, ultimately one day you're gonna drift so far that you two will be strangers with the uncomfortable knowledge about the other person's life.
thought of this quote that i saw somewhere online (i think it was instagram), which comforted me.
maybe real friendships aren't those that burn so brightly like a fire and fill you up with hope and love for life and explosive happiness, but maybe more like small flickering flames of light and hope in your darkest moments in life. true friends will be there without you having to ask them to be there, and they would go the extra mile for you without you expecting them to. and with this, i'm still learning to be a better friend to others(:
i have learnt to count the blessings of friends i have in my life. those who say yes when i ask them to be there for me, and those who have been standing by me these years coming.
to the ones dearest to me: thank you for your friendships, you know who you are. incredibly grateful for y'all.
(and special shoutout to RKT: even though we haven't properly hung out in agesssssss because everyone is just so exhausted and busy, i'm glad we can still talk! thank you for agreeing to watch me on friday amidst exams, overseas trip and work! i'll be dancing for you.)
x maddy
