Disclaimer: This isn't really a makeup related post, but just some of my thoughts as we end off for the year(:
2013 has been a really wonderful year for me, and right now, the introvert inside me is really happy that I'm just potating (is that even a word) at home typing this entry, rather than be at some mega party with all the crowd, noise and all.
I think I've been just way too busy this year. I've definitely been blessed with so many opportunities that I've managed to hang on to and keep close to my heart, yet at the same time, I've had to let go of so many others that I thought I would have grabbed at, because time was short. And time is short. Life is short. This year has been an eventful year, it's been a real whirlwind of emotions and I'm just so grateful to the people in my life who have stuck it out with me through thick and thin.
So I thought I'd just recollect and summarize my year in a few lessons I've learnt. I may be completely wrong, and I'm sure one day I'll look back at this entry and laugh at myself for being so naive, but here goes!
1. Face your feelings.
(thank you ruth for articulating this so clearly to me this year!)
I think one of the things that people are afraid of doing is face what they really feel, because it is scary when you come to the realisation of what you feel. Sometimes we are afraid that our feelings are ugly, they are less than desirable, and they make us less than perfect. But truly, they are still ours. Even if we deny them, they'll come back and haunt us one day. Rather than run away from how we feel, I learnt that it's important to face them squarely. The beautiful, the ugly, those are still what make us human.
2. Daring to be ugly is what makes us beautiful.
Point 1 kind of led me to this. I learnt this life lesson through dance. It's when we bare our souls on stage, will we be able to touch the hearts of others. Somewhere out there, someone is going through the same challenges as us. I am comforted in knowing that there are other people out there struggling as I fight my battles in my day-to-day life. Whether it's meeting deadlines, relationship issues, academic stress, e.t.c. When I say "daring to be ugly" it just means being open to others.
And perhaps, for those who believe in God, it's also about surrendering our troubles to God, allowing Him to strengthen us in our weakness. Because human strength is only so weak. (2 Cor 12:9)
3. Don't forget to dream. And chase them!
This year, I took part in a concert. It's called "Anybody Can Dance: One Step Closer". Dancing for this concert was embodying my dream that had begun some 3/4 years ago. It really means a lot to me, because I really couldn't be happier with what I've done over the past year. Dance has given me a family, it has given me a place that I feel at home in (away from home), it is an outlet for me. At the same time, I have been able to use my skills (however little I have), to help make the lives of children a little better, and show them this new world that has been opened up to me because I dance.
I don't think I'm good enough for many things yet, but this year has taught me to hope like I've never hoped before, and also to continue working even harder whilst having immense fun along the way!
4. Look up and out.
Look up and out, because the world is so much larger than you can ever imagine. It's so much wider and vaster and there's so many people out there better than you, perhaps more gorgeous, more intelligent, and more funny. We look out and find ourselves so so so small.
Once in a while, we all need to humble ourselves to the fact that we aren't perfect. I thought I was going to survive well in school this year. I was happy to be assigned to a genius class and I thought I was going to do well. Honestly, my grades shocked me this year. For someone who values academics at this point in my life, I was really demoralised. Everywhere I look I see people better off than myself.
And because of this I am spurred to work even harder to achieve my goals. In one of my darkest moments this year, someone told me to fight. Fight on because there are people out there fighting even harder than you are. And you fight because you want to make their battles worth it. At this point I'm reminded of young girls in less developed countries fighting for their lives, fighting to be free from child slavery, prostitution. Fighting for their rights to receive an education. I've been blessed to live in a stable country, receive amazing education and I so I shouldn't give up because I have opportunities others are fighting so hard to have.
5. Love.
Love your friends and most importantly, your family. They're the ones to stick with you even if you hurl a million insults at them, because blood is thicker than water, and they're the ones closest to you, the ones you know you can trust even when the whole world has their back against you.
Thank you to my family for teaching me the meaning of unconditional love.
Thank you to my friends for loving me and caring for me all throughout this year, even if I've been a horrible friend. Thank you for staying by me and for always helping me when I need it. You remind me I'm not alone in this world.
And to a special friend of mine, thank you. Thank you for teaching me how to pick myself up when I've fallen, for listening to me when I felt so hopeless, when I felt I could talk to no-one. You were there to listen, to give me advice and a shoulder to cry on. You don't know how immensely you've impacted me this year, and inspired me to become a better friend for others.
And to someone I know, thank you for teaching me what love means. I thank you because as stuff happened, you were amazingly nice throughout it all, rather reassuring, and you still were there for me (not completely sure if you hated the fact that I still talked to you once in a while). I still treasure you as a friend, because you taught me pretty damn a lot about life, and I hope one day, all your worries and problems will resolve themselves, you'll be brave. You're a much decent person than you believe yourself to be, and I think you'll always have a special place in my heart. I wonder if we'll ever go back to being the way things were before.
May 2014 be a better year. No doubt filled with lots of frustration and annoyance (exams!!!) but definitely it's gonna be another year to remember! All the best to everyone, and have a good year ahead!
Yay it's 12!!(:
